Wanted: A Wife for Yitzchak/2/en

Wanted: A Wife for Yitzchak

Exegetical Approaches

Overview

Commentators offer a variety of interpretations as to why Avraham sends his servant all the way to Mesopotamia rather than finding a suitable wife for Yitzchak from among his neighbors. Josephus and a number of the early medieval exegetes propose that Avraham wants to find a wife from his family. In contrast, the Keli Yekar and R. Hirsch focus on the potential negative influences from marrying a local woman whose idolatrous family is always nearby. Finally, Jubilees and many others stress the moral bankruptcy of the Canaanite people and the desire that Yitzchak's wife, in contrast, be of noble character. These different perspectives have important ramifications for understanding Avraham's portrait of the ideal wife for Yitzchak, how the servant's plan of action fit with Avraham's instructions, and how contradictions between the original story and the servant's retelling can be resolved.

Preference for Avraham's Relatives

The most important criterion in the search for a wife for Yitzchak was that she be from Avraham's family.

Sources: JosephusAntiquities 1:16:1-3About Josephus,¹ R. Saadia GaonCommentary Bereshit 24:4Commentary Bereshit 24:22Tafsir Bereshit 24:23About R. Saadia Gaon, RashiBereshit 24:7Bereshit 24:8Bereshit 24:21Bereshit 24:23Bereshit 24:37Bereshit 24:39Bereshit 24:47Bereshit 24:49About R. Shelomo Yitzchaki,² RashbamBereshit 24:1Bereshit 24:4Bereshit 24:22Bereshit 24:42About R. Shemuel b. Meir, Ibn EzraBereshit 24:4Bereshit 24:14About R. Avraham ibn Ezra, R. Yosef Bekhor ShorBereshit 24:3Bereshit 24:13Bereshit 24:22-23Bereshit 24:37About R. Yosef Bekhor Shor, RadakBereshit 24:4Bereshit 24:6Bereshit 24:10Bereshit 24:12Bereshit 24:14Bereshit 24:22Bereshit 24:39Bereshit 24:49About R. David Kimchi³

Why specifically from Avraham's family?

• Religious potential – R. Saadia suggests that Avraham deemed it more likely that one of his relatives would be willing to convert to monotheism.⁴
• Noble character – Ibn Ezra proposes that the servant thought that he had the best chance of finding a kindhearted wife from Avraham's family.⁵

"וְאֶל מוֹלַדְתִּי" in Avraham's instructions

• Family – Rashbam defines "מוֹלַדְתִּי" as family.⁶ Thus, Avraham explicitly instructed his servant to find a wife from his family.
• Birthplace – R. Saadia, Ibn Ezra, and Radak render "מוֹלַדְתִּי" as birthplace.⁷ However, R. Saadia and Radak add that it was understood that this was where Avraham's family was to be found.⁸

Were the Canaanites a backup option? Rashi⁹ says that if the servant did not succeed in finding a wife from Avraham's family, he was to take a wife from the Canaanite daughters of Aner, Eshkol and Mamre.¹⁰ This is a viable possibility only because this approach views the focus as being on Avraham's predilection for family, rather than the demerits of the Canaanites.¹¹

The test at the well – This position must grapple with the question of why, upon his arrival in Charan, the servant did not simply ask for Avraham's family,¹² as does Yaakov in Bereshit 29.¹³

• This position might suggest that the test was an innovation of the servant himself, who went beyond Avraham's requirements, and wanted to ensure that in addition to having family lineage,¹⁴ the future wife would also be of good character.¹⁵ Avraham might have ignored this aspect, being more concerned with the woman's religious potential than her character.¹⁶
• Additionally, the test would serve to convince Rivka's family that the marriage was Divinely ordained.¹⁷ Since there was a good chance that the chosen woman's family would not easily acquiesce to her moving to a foreign country, it was not enough that the servant simply look for a relative of Avraham, he also needed a Divine sign that could prove to the woman's family that she was destined by God to be Yitzchak's wife. The water test accomplished this goal, highlighting how the Divine hand guided Avraham's relative, Rivka, rather than anyone else, straight to the servant.¹⁸

The servant's uncertainty¹⁹ in verse 21 – Rashi²⁰ and Radak explain that even though Rivka had passed the water test, the servant needed to know whether she was from Avraham's family before he could be certain of the success of his mission.

When was the jewelry given? Almost all of these exegetes assert that the servant gave Rivka the jewelry only after finding out that she was indeed from Avraham's family.²¹ R"Y Bekhor Shor explains that the "וַיִּקַּח הָאִישׁ נֶזֶם זָהָב", which appears before his asking about her family, merely means that he prepared the jewelry but did not yet give it to her.²² Rashi is the lone exception,²³ and he explains that the servant was so confident of Divine providence enabling the success of his mission that he gave the jewelry first.

Variations in the servant's retelling – The approach of the majority of these commentators eliminates any fundamental differences between the narrator's account and the servant's report.²⁴ Both accounts are consistent in saying that Avraham charged the servant with finding a wife from his family, and the servant gave Rivka the jewelry only after learning that she was, indeed, from Avraham's family. According to Rashi, however, the servant's account did change the timing of the giving of the jewelry, in order that Rivka's family would not find it strange that he gave it before being sure of Rivka's identity.²⁵

Crux of the position – This approach interprets Avraham's instructions (and their implementation) in light of the news of Rivka's birth which precedes the story as well as the servant's account at the end of the story. It maintains that the servant is not taking liberties with the truth merely in order to flatter. It also assumes that the most logical reason for the servant to go directly to the city of Avraham's relatives was in order to find a wife from Avraham's family.

Aversion to Having Local In-laws

Avraham wanted to ensure that Yitzchak and his family would not be influenced by his wife's family or have to contend with their possible future claims on his inheritance.

Sources: ChizkuniBereshit 24:3Bereshit 24:4Bereshit 24:13Bereshit 24:22-23Devarim 20:16About R. Chizkiyah b. Manoach, Keli YekarBereshit 24:3Bereshit 24:21About R. Shelomo Ephraim Luntschitz,²⁶ ShadalBereshit 24:3Bereshit 24:4Bereshit 24:14Bereshit 24:21Bereshit 24:22Bereshit 24:47About R. S.D. Luzzatto, R. S"R HirschBereshit 24:3Bereshit 24:21Bereshit 24:22About R. S"R Hirsch

Why is "local" worse?

• Constant influence – According to Keli Yekar and R. Hirsch, although both the Canaanites and their Mesopotamian counterparts might have been somewhat equally deficient morally or religiously, the negative influence of local relatives is significantly greater than from those living far away.²⁷ Keli Yekar also draws a parallel between Avraham's admonition that Yitzchak not marry a Canaanite woman and the Torah's later prohibition in Devarim 7 of marrying Canaanite women.
• Danger to inheritance – Chizkuni and Shadal focus instead on the problems caused by local in-laws with regards to Avraham's inheritance of Canaan. Chizkuni asserts that Avraham did not want anyone to say that his inheritance was due to his marriage to the Canaanites rather than being a gift from God.²⁸ Shadal, in contrast, suggests that being related to the Canaanites would make it very difficult to later expel or eliminate them.²⁹

"וְאֶל מוֹלַדְתִּי" in Avraham's instructions

• Birthplace – Chizkuni and R. Hirsch suggest that the word "מוֹלַדְתִּי" refers to Avraham's land or city.³⁰ R. Hirsch, though, suggests that implicit in the usage of the word is Avraham's requirement that the woman also be from his family.
• Family – Shadal asserts that "מוֹלַדְתִּי" refers to Avraham's family but that Avraham set this as a preference rather than a requirement. As proof, he points to the fact that the servant devises the water test, a very inefficient way of finding a maiden from Avraham's family specifically.³¹

Were the Canaanites a backup option? As the problem for Avraham was the Canaanites' proximity, they could not be a viable option under any circumstances.³²

The test at the well – Chizkuni says that the servant wanted to test Rivka's character, when she was alone and not under her family's direct influence.³³ As the servant was not looking specifically for a member of Avraham's family, he looked instead for other positive attributes in the potential bride.³⁴ Shadal, in contrast, suggests that the servant was requesting a sign from Hashem,³⁵ and the woman who passed would be deemed the appropriate wife for Yitzchak, from whichever family she might be.

The servant's uncertainty in verse 21 – The Keli Yekar states that the servant was merely waiting to see whether Rivka would draw water for the camels as she promised, and his uncertainty was unconnected to his question which followed regarding Rivka's lineage. Shadal and R. Hirsch, though, connect the servant's hesitation to his wondering whether Rivka was indeed from Avraham's family.³⁶

When was the jewelry given? Shadal suggests that the jewelry was given before inquiring after Rivka's family, as suggested by the order in the original narration of the event.³⁷ Rivka deserved reward for her efforts regardless of who she was.³⁸ In addition, the servant desired to show that he was wealthy and of generous nature. R. Hirsch, in contrast, proposes that the servant took out the jewelry, but only gave it after inquiring who Rivka was.³⁹

Variations in the servant's retelling – Chizkuni, Shadal, and R. Hirsch maintain that the changes made by the servant resulted from the norms of polite discourse and the desire to honor Avraham's family.⁴⁰

Marriage of Yaakov's sons – This understanding of Avraham's motives might explain why Yaakov appears much much less concerned than his father and grandfather about his sons marrying the local Canaanites. While Yitzchak and Yaakov had been single heirs, who could have easily assimilated into their in-laws families, Yaakov's sons, in contrast, were already a clan, and anyone marrying in would be subsumed by them.  Thus he had no fear of local in-laws.  For further discussion, see Did Yaakov's Sons Marry Canaanites?

Crux of the position – This approach reads Avraham's concerns in light of the Torah's later prohibition in Devarim 7 of intermarrying with the Canaanites. It thus understands Avraham as similarly being fearful of assimilation. The command to find a wife from a far away country and the injunction against taking a wife from the local populace are viewed as flip sides of the same desire to insulate Yitzchak from bad influences.

Search for a Wife of Noble Character

The most critical factor was that Yitzchak's wife have a generous and kind nature and be of upright moral character.

Sources: JubileesChapter 20:1-14Chapter 30:1-16Chapter 34:26-33About Jubilees, Bereshit Rabbah59:9About Bereshit Rabbah, RambanBereshit 12:1Bereshit 24:7Bereshit 24:8Bereshit 24:22Bereshit 25:6Bereshit 38:2About R. Moshe Nachmanides, R. Yosef ibn KaspiBereshit 24:23Tirat Kesef pp. 105-107About R. Yosef ibn Kaspi, RanDerashot HaRan 5About R. Nissim Gerondi, MalbimBereshit 24:3Bereshit 24:10Bereshit 24:11Bereshit 24:21Bereshit 24:22Bereshit 24:23Bereshit 24:27Bereshit 24:37Bereshit 24:47About R. Meir Leibush Weiser, Hoil MosheBereshit 24:3About R. Moshe Yitzchak Ashkenazi

"לֹא תִקַּח אִשָּׁה לִבְנִי מִבְּנוֹת הַכְּנַעֲנִי" – According to all these commentators, Avraham told his servant to avoid choosing a Canaanite wife, not because they were more religiously problematic than his family (who were similarly idolatrous), but because of their amoral character.  Jubilees stresses how the Canaanites debauchery and corrupt interpersonal behavior was the source of the prohibition to mingle with them, while the Ran distinguishes between idolatrous beliefs which can be rectified through education and evil character traits (like those of the Canaanites) which are ingrained and hereditary.⁴¹

"וְאֶל מוֹלַדְתִּי" in Avraham's instructions – Ibn Kaspi and the Malbim understand "מוֹלַדְתִּי" to mean birthplace, and that Avraham expressed no preference for finding a wife from his family.⁴² In fact, Malbim adds that the servant did not expect that Avraham's wealthy relatives in Mesopotamia would be sending their daughter (rather than a servant) out to draw water.

Were the Canaanites a backup option? This approach rules out any possibility whatsoever of a Canaanite wife.⁴³ Thus, Jubilees and Ramban maintain that, not only Yitzchak, but all of the ancestors of the Children of Israel (including the twelve sons of Yaakov) were prohibited from marrying Canaanite women.⁴⁴

The test at the well – This approach would likely suggest that, despite the silence in the text, after expressing how abominable he found the Canaanites, Avraham proceeded to tell his servant that he should instead find a wife of upright morals and character.  This led the servant to devise his water test. As such, Avraham's specification to avoid the Canaanites and the servant's character test are flip-sides of the same coin.  Malbim further points outs that the test was designed to identify a kindhearted woman from a poor family, who would presumably be more willing to emigrate to a foreign land. The servant assumed that the wealthy inhabitants of the city would send their servants to draw water, rather than their daughters, and thus never even thought of the possibility that a relative of Avraham would be the one to pass the test.

The servant's uncertainty in verse 21 – According to Malbim, the uncertainty did not relate to Rivka's as-of-yet unknown lineage (which was unimportant to the servant) but rather to the concern that Rivka might still ask for remuneration for her efforts, thereby diminishing her good deed.⁴⁵ Alternatively, it is possible that the servant was concerned that the woman's family might not consent to the marriage.⁴⁶

When was the jewelry given? Ibn Kaspi and Malbim assert that, as it would appear from the narrator's account, the servant gave Rivka the jewelry before finding out her lineage. They point out that this is consistent with their position that the woman's family background was irrelevant to the servant's mission.⁴⁷ Malbim adds that the servant's asking for the identity of Rivka's family was merely the lead-up to his inquiry as to whether they could find lodging in her home.⁴⁸

Variations in the servant's retelling – Ramban, Ibn Kaspi, and the Malbim⁴⁹ all develop the possibility that the servant altered the truth in order to achieve his goals.⁵⁰ Thus, they contend that the servant only pretended that his marching orders were to find a woman from Avraham's family and that he gave Rivka the jewelry only after learning of her pedigree, all in order to flatter Rivka's family and ensure their approval of the marriage.⁵¹

Crux of the position – This approach underscores the opening part of Avraham's admonition, the prohibition of taking a Canaanite wife, reading into it the importance of finding a spouse of upright character. It concludes, in light of the Torah's earlier curse of Canaan⁵² and later revulsion from Canaanite behavior,⁵³ that Canaanite society was unique in the depth of its depravity.

¹ According to Josephus and Radak, the servant was sent specifically for Rivka. The basis for their approach is that Avraham receives the report of Rivka's birth very shortly before this story, in Bereshit 22:23.

² From Rashi on 24:21 and 24:23 it appears that the wife being from Avraham's family was critical for the success of the mission. Additionally, Rashi on 24:8 views the Canaanites (Aner, Eshkol, and Mamre) as a backup option (see also Rashi on 24:37). On the other hand, Rashi on 24:39 cites Bereshit Rabbah which rules out the servant's (Eliezer) daughter because of her Canaanite lineage. These latter two comments would appear to be contradictory, and see Ramban 24:8 who points out that Rashi there contradicts Bereshit Rabbah.

³ See note on Josephus above.

⁴ Contrast to the Malbim below who asserts that the servant expected that specifically a poor family (i.e. not Avraham's) would be willing to let their daughter emigrate.

⁵ In contrast to R. Saadia, Ibn Ezra attributes the establishing of the family requirement to the servant, rather than to Avraham. This is related to his understanding of "מוֹלַדְתִּי" – see below.

⁶ Cf. Bereshit 43:7 and Esther 2:10, 8:6, and see "מוֹלֶדֶת".

⁷ Ibn Ezra and Radak identify Avraham's birthplace ("מוֹלַדְתִּי") as Ur Kasdim, but they differ as to its relationship to "אַרְצִי". It appears that Ibn Ezra thinks that the servant would have proceeded to search for a wife from Ur if he had not succeeded in Charan, while Radak (24:10) seems to believe that Rivka's family lived in Ur rather than Charan (and that "אַרְצִי" and "מוֹלַדְתִּי" refer to the same place). [See Geography for other cases where medieval commentators were hamstrung by the limited geographical information they possessed.] Our verse is one of the central prooftexts in the debate between Ibn Ezra and Ramban on Bereshit 11:28 regarding the identity of Avraham's birthplace (see Avraham's Migrations and see "מוֹלֶדֶת"), and see Ramban below.

⁸ Ibn Ezra, on the other hand, appears to maintain that Avraham did not give instructions that the woman should be from his family, and this was only the servant's initiative.

⁹ See Rashi on 24:8 and 24:37, and see also Rashi's comments on Kiddushin 61b which imply the same (as noted by Tosafot there).

¹⁰ See below that Ramban 24:8 notes that Rashi (on 24:8) contradicts Bereshit Rabbah, and for Ri and Ramban's alternate interpretation of 24:8. See also Rashi on 24:49 that the servant would have found a wife from the families of Lot or Yishmael. On the issue of Patriarchal observance of the mitzvot, see Avot and Mitzvot.

¹¹ See also R"Y Bekhor Shor who interprets 24:3 as Avraham merely saying that there was no need for Yitzchak to marry a local Canaanite woman in order to inherit the land, rather than his having any objection to Yitzchak marrying a Canaanite woman. [R"Y Bekhor Shor apparently differentiates between our story and the parallel instructions given to Yaakov in Bereshit 28. In the latter case, the text is explicit that Canaanite wives were viewed negatively.]

¹² This is especially difficult for Josephus and Radak who assume that the servant was sent specifically for Rivka.

¹³ See Shadal who raises this as an objection to this approach. Cf. Josephus and Ibn Ezra who appear to understand the test as a way for the servant to identify a woman from Avraham's family (who were known to be generous and kind-hearted). It is not clear, though, why he did not simply ask for the family.

¹⁴ See the Hoil MosheBereshit 24:3About R. Moshe Yitzchak Ashkenazi who says that there were many eligible women from Avraham's family living in Charan. If so, the well test may have been intended to identify which of them was the appropriate wife.

¹⁵ See R"Y Bekhor Shor who has the servant test for three things: beauty, lineage, and character.  The first two he could ascertain by himself through his own perceptions and questioning the women. Character, though, needed to be tested, and would be best ascertained if the woman was tested in public under real life conditions, rather than in her parents' home where she would be prepared beforehand and on special behavior.

¹⁶ Alternatively, he assumed that most of his relatives shared his traits of caring for the other, and this did not need to be tested.

¹⁷ This is pointed out by Josephus, Rashbam, and Radak. However, they do not present this as the motivation for the test, but rather as a consequence. Cf. R. Meir Spiegelman who suggests that the entire need and purpose for the test was to persuade Rivka and her family that this was Hashem's will.

¹⁸ And indeed, when Lavan and Betuel hear of the test they say: "מה' יצא הדבר".

¹⁹ It is clear that the servant was uncertain as to the success of his mission from the verse's statement: "מַחֲרִישׁ לָדַעַת הַהִצְלִיחַ י״י דַּרְכּוֹ אִם לֹא". However, the earlier description of the servant as being "מִשְׁתָּאֵה" is much more difficult to understand, as the word is a hapax legomenon (a word which only appears once in all of Tanakh) whose meaing is debated by commentators.  See, for example, the discussion brought by R. D"Z Hoffman.

²⁰ See also Midrash Aggadah (Buber)Bereshit 24:21About Midrash Aggadah (Buber).

²¹ See Ibn Ezra who explicitly says that had he found out that the woman was not from Avraham's family, the servant would not have given her the jewelry.

²² Radak explains similarly. In contrast, R. Saadia, Rashbam, and Ibn Ezra posit that the text is simply not in chronological order, with Rashbam suggesting that the Torah did this so as not to interrupt the transcript of the dialogue.

²³ See also Midrash Aggadah (Buber)Bereshit 24:22About Midrash Aggadah (Buber).

²⁴ See Radak who adds that the minor differences are due to the way of Scripture to vary its language.

²⁵ Rashi may mean that the servant did not want Rivka's family to scoff at his trust that Hashem would perform a miracle and make sure that the woman would be from Avraham's family. See also Midrash Aggadah (Buber)Bereshit 24:47About Midrash Aggadah (Buber).

²⁶ In addition, the Keli Yekar integrates this approach with that of the Ran below.

²⁷ Importing a wife allowed her to be molded after the values of Avraham, whereas being surrounded by problematic relatives puts Yitzchak in danger of being shaped by them. Finding wives from afar, however, was an adequate solution only for a couple of generations. As Avraham's descendants became a larger family, the dangers of harmful local influences and assimilation multiplied. According to some commentators, this created the need for the Egyptian Exile - For elaboration, see Purposes of the Egyptian Bondage.

²⁸ Cf. the slightly different variation of R"Y Bekhor Shor above.

²⁹ He compares it to the prohibition of fighting against Ammon, Moav or Edom, all relatives of the Israelites.

³⁰ Chizkuni explicitly states that "מוֹלַדְתִּי" refers to Ur Kasdim.

³¹ Had he merely been looking for a relative, the servant would have simply inquired after Betuel.

³² See Ri and Ramban's position below.

³³ Chizkuni is following the lead of R"Y Bekhor Shor above. Both Keli Yekar and R. Hirsch similarly view it as a character test. R. Hirsch, who asserts that Avraham required the wife to be from his family, suggests that in testing the trait of kindness and hospitality, the servant was simultaneously checking for signs of relation, as those very traits were emblematic of Avraham.

³⁴ It is possible that Rivka was tested to see if she possessed two qualities that were the hallmarks of Avraham:

• A willingness to leave her family and homeland (note the parallel usage of the terms from our story in Bereshit 12:1 "מֵאַרְצְךָ וּמִמּוֹלַדְתְּךָ וּמִבֵּית אָבִיךָ").
• A devotion to doing kindness even for utter strangers (note the parallels between Rivka's "וַתְּמַהֵר... וַתָּרָץ" and Avraham's "וַיְמַהֵר... רָץ" in Bereshit 18).

³⁵ Cf. Radak above. On the appropriateness of the test and the issue of divination, see The Test at the Well.

³⁶ According to Shadal, this was Avraham's preference, while according to R. Hirsch it was a requirement.

³⁷ He also raises the possibility that the two actions were simultaneous.

³⁸ Chizkuni explains similarly, but also brings the opposite possibility that the servant asked about her family first. He brings a third compromise possibility, like R. Hirsch below, as well.

³⁹ As R. Hirsch maintains that the family criterion was important, he asserts that the servant asks about that before actually giving the gifts. He notes, like R"Y Bekhor Shor above, that the usage of "וַיִּקַּח" rather than "ויתן" allows for the possibility that it was just prepared to be given. This eliminates any real contradiction between the servant's retelling and the original narrative.

⁴⁰ For a full list of earlier commentators who adopt this approach, see below.

⁴¹ See also the Keli Yekar above.

⁴² See also the Hoil Moshe. Ramban presents both possible interpretations of "מוֹלַדְתִּי".

⁴³ This is the position taken by Ri in Tosafot Kiddushin, and adopted by Ramban. Ri asserts that Avraham made the servant take two different oaths: one that he would not take a wife for Yitzchak from the Canaanites, and the other that he would take a wife for him from Avraham's family. According to Ri, the extra word "זֹאת" in "וְנִקִּיתָ מִשְּׁבֻעָתִי זֹאת" teaches that in a case where the servant could not find a wife from Mesopotamia, Avraham absolved him only from the second oath, but that the first oath would always remain in effect.

⁴⁴ See Did Yaakov's Sons Marry Canaanites? Jubilees expands the prohibition even further, claiming that Avraham forbade all of his offspring from taking Canaanite wives. On the issue of Patriarchal observance of the mitzvot, see Avot and Mitzvot. Regarding Avraham's own marriages and the identity of Keturah, see Avraham's Many Wives.

⁴⁵ Cf. Seforno.

⁴⁶ According to this, this uncertainty continued until the family agreed, and it is only in 24:52-56 ("וַה' הִצְלִיחַ דַּרְכִּי") that the servant is finally confident that his mission was successful.

⁴⁷ Ramban, who raises both possibilities as to whether it was a desideratum that the woman be from Avraham's family, interprets like R"Y Bekhor Shor and Radak above, that the servant merely prepared the jewelry before asking of Rivka's lineage, but did not give it until after.

⁴⁸ Cf. Radak and Shadal who maintain the exact opposite that asking about lodging was merely an excuse and a means for obtaining information about Rivka's family.

⁴⁹ See also Akeidat YitzchakBereshit #22About R. Yitzchak Arama, AbarbanelBereshit 24About R. Yitzchak Abarbanel, and R. D"Z HoffmannBereshit 24:22Bereshit 24:47About R. D"Z Hoffmann.

⁵⁰ The Hoil Moshe takes the reverse approach, suggesting that "מִמִּשְׁפַּחְתִּי וּמִבֵּית אָבִי" in the servant's account could refer to almost the entire city, as there were many other families in Avraham's hometown who were all Avraham's relatives.

⁵¹ See AbarbanelBereshit 24About R. Yitzchak Abarbanel for a full list and analysis of the discrepancies between the accounts of the narrator and servant.

⁵² See Bereshit 9:25-27.

⁵³ See Vayikra 18.