Yosef's Treatment of his Family/2

Yosef's Treatment of his Family

Exegetical Approaches

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Overview

In trying to understand Yosef's various interactions with his family, commentators paint contrasting portraits of Yosef, ranging from the altruistic to the egoistic.  R. Shemuel b. Chofni Gaon, Abarbanel, and others posit that Yosef had righteous motives and was looking to reconcile with his family.  First, though, Yosef wanted to assess the degree of the brothers' remorse and/or aid them in achieving penance for their past misdeeds. According to this position, Yosef's initial not sending to his father was unconnected to his later behavior.

A second approach reads Yosef more neutrally and suggests that all his actions, from his lack of communication with his father to his harsh treatment of his brothers, were compelled by other factors. According to Ramban, Yosef felt obligated to fulfill Hashem's will as expressed through his dreams, while R"Y Bekhor Shor asserts that Yosef's siblings had sworn him to secrecy regarding his sale. R"S Feigenson, in contrast, presents Yosef acting under the misguided assumption that he was rejected by his father.

A last group of commentators view Yosef as acting to protect his own self-interest. Radak paints a vengeful Yosef intent on punishing his siblings, while some modern scholars depict an assimilated Yosef who wished to sever ties with his whole family, excepting Binyamin.  In contrast, a final approach suggests that Yosef not only wanted to be part of the nation, but that he believed that he and Binyamin alone were chosen to lead it.

Yosef the Altruist – Concern for his Family

Yosef was motivated by a desire to facilitate a family reconciliation.  This, however, would be possible only if his brothers' feelings toward him had changed.

Testing his Brothers

Yosef's elaborate plan was designed to assess whether his brothers were remorseful for their original misdeeds and had changed their conduct.

Sources:Jubilees4243:1-30About Jubilees, PhiloOn Joseph XXXIXAbout Philo, JosephusAntiquities of the Jews 2:6:2Antiquities of the Jews 2:6:4Antiquities of the Jews 2:6:7Antiquities of the Jews 2:6:8Antiquities of the Jews 2:6:9About Josephus, R. Shemuel b. Chofni GaonBereshit 41:51Bereshit 42:7Bereshit 42:9-13, 15Bereshit 44:1Bereshit 44:2Bereshit 44:8Bereshit 45:3About R. Shemuel b. Chofni Gaon, Ramban #2Bereshit 42:9 (Israel)Bereshit 44:1Bereshit 45:1About R. Moshe b. Nachman,¹ R. Yonah #3Derashot R. Yonah Parashat Vayigash,² Sefer HaYashar53:16-23About Sefer HaYashar, Ralbag, Akeidat Yitzchak2930, Questions 2-430About R. Yitzchak Arama, Abarbanel #2Bereshit 41Bereshit 41-42, questions 4,6Bereshit 42:7Bereshit 42:25Bereshit 43:33About R. Yitzchak Abarbanel,³ SefornoBereshit 42:9Bereshit 43:16Bereshit 43:34Bereshit 44:1-2Bereshit 44:16About R. Ovadyah Seforno,⁴ Or HaChayyimBereshit 42:9Bereshit 44:1-2About R. Chayyim b. Atar,⁵ BiurBereshit 41:51Bereshit 44:2About the Biur (Netivot HaShalom), R. Hirsch

Purpose of the Test

• Concern over Binyamin – Ramban and Ralbag assert that Yosef was assessing the brothers' behavior towards Binyamin, and had they mistreated Binyamin, he would have saved him from their hands.
• Concern for himself – R. Hirsch posits that Yosef knew that a physical reconciliation with his brothers would not suffice; only a change of attitude could truly reunite the family. In addition, without knowing where his brothers stood, Yosef himself would not be able to overcome his bitterness and forgive them.⁶
• Understand original motive – Josephus suggests that seeing how the brothers treated Binyamin would prove whether their original actions had been motivated by malice and wickedness, or if they had merely been guided by the Divine hand.

Why did Yosef not contact Yaakov immediately?

• Atonement for own sins – R. Yonah posits that Yosef might have viewed his exile as atonement for his own misdeeds in slandering his brothers.
• To spare Yaakov – R. Yonah and Akeidat Yitzchak raise the possibility that Yosef feared that alerting Yaakov to the sale and his sons' behavior would have caused him more distress than his inability to reunite with Yosef.⁷
• Multiple stages – Akeidat Yitzchak suggests that, at first, Yosef did not reveal his whereabouts, knowing that his father would not be able to redeem him.  After he was promoted, he hesitated, knowing that his status was not yet solidified⁸ and that the revelation could endanger it.⁹  In addition, overseeing the preparations for the famine occupied all of his time.

"כִּי נַשַּׁנִי אֱלֹהִים אֶת כָּל עֲמָלִי וְאֵת כָּל בֵּית אָבִי"

• Wrongs forgotten – R. Shemuel b. Chofni explains that with Yosef's change of fortune and the birth of his son, the pain of his brothers' mistreatment subsided. Thus, when the brothers arrived, he was no longer filled with anger or vengeful thoughts.
• Intentional "forgetting" – R"Y Arama suggests, instead, that the name hints to the fact that the time had not yet come for him to remember and send to his father. Yosef intentionally "forgot" his father's house. R. Arama posits that Yosef, nonetheless, recognized that there was a sinful side to this decision.¹⁰
• Forgotten but not forgetting – In contrast to the above, Abarbanel claims that the name proves that Yosef did not forget his father's house.  Despite his rise to power, Yosef continued to think of and long for his family.¹¹  In naming his son Menasheh, Yosef was blessing Hashem for both the good – that his servitude was behind him, and the bad – that he was forgotten by his family.

Remembering the dreams

• R"Y Arama and Abarbanel assert that seeing the beginning of the actualization of his dreams made Yosef wonder whether they would be fulfilled completely, leading him to ask about his father and brother.¹²
• According to R. Shemuel b. Chofni, in contrast, memory of the dreams did not prompt any specific action. The verse is simply saying that the realization of the dreams caused Yosef to remember them.¹³

Accusation of espionage

• According to Philo, R. Shemuel b. Chofni and Akeidat Yitzchak, this was simply a means to an end. Using this method, Yosef could ensure that the brothers brought Binyamin to Egypt¹⁴ so that he could then see how they treated him and whether they had changed their ways.¹⁵
• Ralbag suggests that this accusation enabled Yosef to probe the family circumstances and find out whether his brother and father were still alive.¹⁶

Initial returning of their monies – R. Shemuel b. Chofni suggests that this was not part of the test. Rather, Yosef simply wanted to save his family money.¹⁷  Alternatively, one could propose that Yosef, thinking that the original sale was partially motivated by financial gain, was testing whether the brothers would pocket the returned payments or not.

Favoring Binyamin

• Test jealousy – Philo and Seforno assert that Yosef wanted to see if the brothers would be envious of Binyamin. To know whether the brothers had really changed, it was necessary to put them in a parallel situation to the one that had caused them to sell Yosef years before. Thus, Yosef loads Binyamin with presents, much as Yaakov had favored Yosef, and then monitors the brothers' reaction.
• Show of mercy – Ralbag, in contrast, asserts that Yosef wanted to show the brothers that he cared for Binyamin so that the brothers would know that Yosef had a merciful side. Thus, when Binyamin would be framed, the brothers would assume that they had a chance of successfully pleading with Yosef, rather than take some drastic measures thinking there was no hope.

Second returning of monies

• Test – R. Shemuel b. Chofni and Abarbanel view this as part of the test Yosef set up for the brothers.  Abarbanel proposes that Yosef was eliminating a potential flaw in his plan – that the brothers would erroneously conclude that Binyamin had actually stolen the goblet and think that his punishment was justified.  Yosef, therefore, planted not just the goblet but also all of their monies, to ensure that it would be clear to the brothers that Binyamin was being framed.¹⁸
• Good will – Ramban and Seforno, suggest, as above, that Yosef returned the money out of good will. Moreover, he does so with the brothers' knowledge,¹⁹ to compensate them for the troubles he had put them through when he had accused them of spying.²⁰

Framing an innocent person?

• Sefer HaYashar and the Biur assert that Yosef had actually revealed himself and his entire scheme to Binyamin earlier, so Binyamin did not suffer any anxiety.
• In contrast, R. Shemuel b. Chofni Gaon simply asserts that the ends (the reuniting of the family and assuaging of Yaakov's longing) justified the temporary discomfort for Binyamin.²¹

"הָאֱלֹהִים מָצָא אֶת עֲוֹן עֲבָדֶיךָ" – Seforno understands that the brothers are saying that though they are innocent of this charge, Hashem is repaying them for a different sin, the selling of Yosef.²²  If so, this is exactly what Yosef was trying to determine, whether the brothers regretted their original actions or not.

Portrait of Yosef – This position views Yosef as trying to move beyond the pain he endured at the hands of his brothers and being nobly concerned with the welfare of his family.

Facilitating his Brothers' Repentance

Yosef inflicted suffering on his brothers in order to help them attain penance for their sins toward him.

Sources:Seikhel TovBereshit 37:36Bereshit 41:51Bereshit 45:1About R. Menachem b. Shelomo, R. Avraham SabaTzeror HaMor Bereshit 41:51Tzeror HaMor Bereshit 42Tzeror HaMor Bereshit 44About R. Avraham Saba (Tzeror HaMor), Abarbanel #1Bereshit 41Bereshit 41-42, questions 4,6Bereshit 42:7Bereshit 42:25Bereshit 43:33About R. Yitzchak Abarbanel,²³ R. Moshe AlshikhBereshit 42:6Bereshit 44:1About R. Moshe Alshikh, R. Eliezer AshkenaziMa'asei Hashem Ma'asei Avot 38About R. Eliezer Ashkenazi (Ma'asei Hashem), Keli YekarBereshit 42:7Bereshit 42:14Bereshit 42:16About R. Shelomo Ephraim Lunshitz, Or HaChayyim #1Bereshit 42:9Bereshit 44:1-2About R. Chayyim b. Atar²⁴

Measure for measure – Abarbanel and others in his wake²⁵ note that the uncomfortable situations in which Yosef placed his brothers correlate to the experiences which they caused him to endure.  Yosef wanted them to be punished in this world, to spare them a worse punishment later.

Why did Yosef not contact Yaakov immediately? According to the Keli Yekar, Yosef thought that if Hashem had not revealed his whereabouts to Yaakov, it must be because He wanted Yaakov to suffer. Yaakov deserved punishment for having himself been away from his father for twenty-two years, and thus needed to be punished by not seeing Yosef for the same length of time.

"כִּי נַשַּׁנִי אֱלֹהִים אֶת כָּל עֲמָלִי וְאֵת כָּל בֵּית אָבִי" – According to this approach, these words of Yosef do not reflect a detachment from his family.  Rather, Seikhel Tov and the Tzeror HaMor explain that Yosef is merely stating that, with his rise to power, he has forgotten the hardships his family had caused him to endure.  Thus, he had no desire for revenge, but rather wanted only to help his brothers.

Remembering the dreams and accusation of espionage – Abarbanel and the Keli Yekar maintain that the brothers sinned in suspecting Yosef of talebearing²⁶ and by not accepting the truth of his dreams; thus Yosef accused them of being spies.

Imprisonment of brothers / Shimon – This was to punish the brothers for throwing him into the pit.²⁷

Returning of monies

• Reveal sincerity – The Ma'asei Hashem asserts that Yosef did this so that the brothers would later realize that his actions were not motivated by revenge and hatred, but rather by the sincere desire that they atone for their sins.
• Recognize Hashem's hand – Alternatively, Yosef wanted to ensure that the brothers realized that Binyamin was framed so they would recognize that the punishment was from Hashem, and not due to Binyamin's guilt.²⁸
• Cause anxiety – According to Abarbanel, Yosef wanted to cause the brothers anxiety, but no real harm, just as they had intended him evil which resulted only in good.
• Practical measure – Abarbanel further suggests that Yosef planted the money to ensure that the brothers were not delayed in returning to Egypt due to insufficient funds.

Favoring Binyamin – This position might suggest that Yosef was simply showing his love for his brother.  As Binyamin had played no part in the sale, he did not deserve any punishment.

Framing Binyamin – The plot of hiding the goblet was aimed at getting the brothers to declare themselves slaves, as penance for selling Yosef into slavery.  Tzeror Hamor points out they are similarly accused of theft since they had "stolen" Yosef.²⁹

Framing an innocent person? Since Binyamin alone did not participate in the sale, it is not clear why he deserved to suffer, especially as it would seem that Yosef could have accomplished his goal by framing any of the brothers.  This approach could suggest, as does Sefer HaYashar above, that Yosef actually told Binyamin in advance what he planned to do so that he would not suffer from the accusation.

"אֲבָל אֲשֵׁמִים אֲנַחְנוּ עַל אָחִינוּ" – Abarbanel claims that Yosef's behavior towards the brothers made them reflect on their past actions and realize that they were deserving of punishment.  The Seikhel Tov implies that Yehuda's later statement: "הָאֱלֹהִים מָצָא אֶת עֲוֹן עֲבָדֶיךָ", is also an acknowledgment that they were suffering for the sin of selling Yosef.

Portrait of Yosef – These sources view Yosef as a righteous figure, driven solely by an altruistic desire to help his brothers avoid an even harsher Divine punishment.

Yosef's Hands were Tied

Yosef was compelled to act in the way he did, either due to Divine decree, the brothers' swearing him to secrecy, or his own mistaken assumptions.

Fulfilling a Prophecy

Hashem's prophecies and/or a need to actualize them guided Yosef's actions.

Sources:R. Avraham b. HaRambamBereshit 37:13Bereshit 37:30Bereshit 41:51About R. Avraham Maimonides, R. YonahDerashot R. Yonah Parashat Vayeshev, RambanBereshit 42:9 (Spain)Bereshit 42:9 (Israel)Bereshit 44:1Bereshit 45:1About R. Moshe b. Nachman,³⁰ R. Yosef ibn KaspiTirat Kesef (p. 123-126)Bereshit 42:9About R. Yosef ibn Kaspi, SefornoBereshit 42:9Bereshit 43:16Bereshit 43:34Bereshit 44:1-2Bereshit 44:16,³¹ R. Moshe AlshikhBereshit 41:51-52Bereshit 42:6Bereshit 44:1Bereshit 45:3About R. Moshe Alshikh,³² Minchah BelulahBereshit 42:9Bereshit 45:9About R. Avraham Porto, GR"A,GR"A, Aderet Eliyahu, Parashat Miketz NetzivBereshit 41:51Bereshit 42:9About R. Naftali Tzvi Yehuda Berlin

Which prophecy?

• "גֵר יִהְיֶה זַרְעֲךָ" – According to R. Avraham b. HaRambam and one possibility in R. Yonah, all of the events were orchestrated by Hashem as a way to bring the family to Egypt³³ and begin to actualize the prophecy made in the Covenant of the Pieces.³⁴  As Yosef later says to the brothers: "וְעַתָּה לֹא אַתֶּם שְׁלַחְתֶּם אֹתִי הֵנָּה כִּי הָאֱלֹהִים".
• Yosef's Dreams – According to the rest of these commentators, Yosef on his own acted to realize his earlier dreams of his family being subservient to him.

Dreams as Prophecy

• These sources view dreams as a form of prophecy.  Moreover, they contend that a person who is granted such a prophecy is obligated to actualize Hashem's will, "שלא להכחיש רצון וגזירת עליון".‎³⁵  Other exegetes challenge this assumption, asserting that it is the prerogative of Hashem, and not man, to fulfill prophecies,³⁶‎‎ especially if doing so causes suffering to others.
• Seforno adds that Yosef thought it important to fulfill his dreams because they would be a sign for his descendants, setting in motion the role of Mashiach b. Yosef.

Why did Yosef not contact Yaakov immediately?

• R. Avraham b. HaRambam asserts that Yosef realized that this was all part of Hashem's larger plan, and thus he kept silent, waiting for Hashem to fulfill His decree.³⁷  According to R. Yonah, in contrast, Yosef was not yet aware that he was a pawn in Hashem's game.  Rather, Hashem pulled the strings without his knowledge and planted the notion in Yosef's head that he deserved a punishment for slandering his brothers, leading to his silence.
• According to Ramban, Yosef realized that his dreams could not be fulfilled in Canaan, and so he did not ask to be redeemed but waited for his brothers and father to arrive in Egypt.³⁸  Ibn Kaspi agrees, but adds that, initially, when Yosef was enslaved, there was no chance of escape or redemption,³⁹ leading him to conclude that would only be hurtful to Yaakov to make contact.⁴⁰

"כִּי נַשַּׁנִי אֱלֹהִים אֶת כָּל עֲמָלִי וְאֵת כָּל בֵּית אָבִי" – R. Avraham b. HaRambam explains that Yosef declared that the greatness he achieved comforted him from both the hardships he had suffered and the good that he missed from leaving his father's house.  Yosef, thus, was able to move beyond the past and was not motivated to seek vengeance against his brothers.

"וַיִּזְכֹּר יוֹסֵף אֵת הַחֲלֹמוֹת" – This verse is the starting point for this whole approach; it was Yosef's memory of his dreams that prompted all of his subsequent actions in the story.⁴¹

Accusation of espionage and imprisonment

• According to Ramban, Yosef made the accusation as part of the plot aimed at bringing Binyamin to Egypt so that all of his eleven brothers could bow to him.⁴²
• Mincha Belulah suggests that this was a ploy to ensure that the brothers could not ask the local Egyptians about him.

Imprisonment

• According to the GR"A, fulfilling the first dream⁴³ meant asserting both "ממלכה" (the accepted rule of another) and "ממשלה" (forcing authority on another against his will.)⁴⁴  Thus, the brothers needed not only to bow, but also to be forcefully imprisoned. 
• Alternatively, the imprisonment of Shimon was simply a means to ensure the brothers' speedy return.

Rebating the payment

• Compensation – According to Ramban, Yosef returned the money out of good will.  The second time he even did so with the brothers' knowledge, telling them that it was compensation for the hardships they suffered due to the accusation.
• Lesson – Ibn Kaspi asserts that this was a philosophical lesson⁴⁵ meant to teach the brothers that things they believed to be impossible might nonetheless be true.  Ibn Kaspi is apparently suggesting that Yosef wanted to show the brothers that thought they doubted his dreams, they were fulfilled.

Framing of Binyamin – The planting of the goblet and framing of Binyamin seem unnecessary in order to fulfill Yosef's dreams, as Yosef could have simply revealed himself and had his father come to Egypt.  As such, Ramban explains that these actions were aimed at testing the brothers' attitude towards Binyamin.⁴⁶

"וְלֹא יָכֹל יוֹסֵף לְהִתְאַפֵּק" – It is possible that if it were not for Yehuda's plea, Yosef would not have revealed himself to the brothers, but rather kept Binyamin with him to ensure the arrival of his father and the final fulfillment of his dreams.  If so, then all of Yosef's actions (including the framing) were really aimed at actualizing his dreams.

Portrait of Yosef – This position views Yosef as righteous, motivated not by feelings of revenge, but by an obligation to fulfill Hashem's will and decrees.

Under Oath

Yosef's brothers had sworn him to secrecy regarding the sale.  His interaction with them in Egypt was aimed at forcing them to annul this vow.

Sources:TanchumaMS Oxford-Bodley 156About the Tanchuma, R. Yosef Bekhor ShorBereshit 37:26Bereshit 42:7Bereshit 45:15About R. Yosef Bekhor Shor, R. Yehuda HeChasidSefer Chasidim 1961Bereshit 41:51Bereshit 43:7Bereshit 44:21Ms.Parma 251About R. Yehuda HeChasid,⁴⁷ Daat ZekeinimBereshit 42:1About Daat Zekeinim, Moshav ZekeinimBereshit 45:1About Moshav Zekeinim

Ban (חרם) or oath? These sources differ regarding the nature of the vow taken by Yosef:

• Ban (חרם) – R. Yehuda HeChasid (as cited in MS Parma 251) and Moshav Zekeinim assert that the brothers agreed to a ban on any who would reveal the sale.  Against his will, they included Yosef as the necessary tenth man.⁴⁸
• Oath – According to R."Y Bekhor Shor and R. Yehuda HeChasid (as cited in his commentary), the brothers swore Yosef to secrecy when he was sold.  Yosef agreed to the condition of silence in order to save his life.⁴⁹
• Both – Tanchuma MS, Sefer Hasidim, and Daat Zekenim are slightly ambiguous, but seem to suggest that the brothers made a ban among themselves⁵⁰ and decreed on Yosef, who was not included therein, that he also not speak of the sale.

Why abide by the oath? This positions assumes that people took oaths and bans extremely seriously and would not dare to violate them.⁵¹

Why did Yosef not contact Yaakov immediately? Though Yosef wished to contact his father, the brothers had forced Yosef to swear that he would neither reveal the sale to his father⁵² nor return to him.⁵³  R"Y HeChasid also adds that Yosef was concerned that were he to contact Yaakov, his brothers would flee from their father's home out of utter embarrassment.

"כִּי נַשַּׁנִי אֱלֹהִים אֶת כָּל עֲמָלִי וְאֵת כָּל בֵּית אָבִי"

Why not reveal himself to the brothers upon arrival? R"Y Bekhor Shor asserts that Yosef believed that the brothers, in their hatred and shame, would be unwilling to take responsibility for their earlier misdeeds.  If he revealed himself too early, they would simply deny Yosef's existence and remind him that the oath was still in effect. Yosef, thus, made an elaborate plan to force their hands into nullifying the vow.

Accusations of espionage – This was a means to an end; Yosef wanted to ensure that the brothers brought Binyamin so he could frame him.

Framing Binyamin

• R"Y Bekhor Shor maintains that Yosef pushed the brothers until they were terrified that Binyamin would be enslaved and how this would affect their father.  He knew that at that point he could reveal himself, for they themselves would be willing to tell everything to Yaakov in order to save Binyamin.
• According to R. Yehuda HeCHasid, in contrast, Yosef's original plan was to keep Binyamin, forcing his father to come and redeem him.  Yaakov would then see Yosef and recognize him, effectively ending the ban/oath.⁵⁴

"הוֹצִיאוּ כׇל אִישׁ מֵעָלָי" – R"Y Bekhor Shor and Daat Zekeinim point to these words as support for the idea that Yosef was under oath.  Because of his vow, he only revealed himself to the brothers when no one else was present.⁵⁵

Yehuda's speech and abrogating the vow

• Breaking of vow – According to R. Yehuda HeChasid, Yehuda's words caused Yosef to change his initial plan and break the vow:
• In his commentary, R. Yehuda HeChasid claims that after listening to Yehuda's impassioned plea, Yosef broke down and felt that he could no longer wait for Yaakov to arrive and identify him, and so he abrogated the vow on his own and revealed himself.⁵⁶
• In MS Parma 251, R. Yehuda HeChasid is presented as following Bereshit Rabbah93:8About Bereshit Rabbah which claims that Yehuda did not simply plea for his brother but threatened to attack Egypt.⁵⁷  Yosef was thus left with no choice and concluded that it was better to break the vow than to endanger the entire country.
• No breaking of vow – According to R"Y Bekhor Yehuda's words led Yosef to reveal himself, not only because he recognized the brothers' desperation, but also because he realized that his father had suffered enough. Nonetheless, he claims that Yosef still identified himself only privately so as not to break the vow. Only after the brothers reconciled and spoke to him, was the oath nullified.⁵⁸

Rebating the payment – These sources do not address the issue but could suggest that Yosef wanted to ensure the brothers' speedy return and he thus made sure that they would not be delayed by a lack of money.

Favoring Binyamin – This approach could suggest that this was compensation for the anxiety he was soon to endure when accused of theft.  Alternatively, Yosef was simply acting out of his great love for his brother.

Portrait of Yosef

Assumed He was Rejected

Yosef's actions were guided by the mistaken assumption that he had been rejected and punished by his father.

Sources:R. Shemuel FeigensonR. Shemuel Feigenson's Note (printed in Yerushalmi Zeraim, Vilna, 5628), R"Y Bin-Nun,⁵⁹ R"A Korman HaAvot VeHaShevatim, pp.207-209

Mistaken assumptions

• Punished – R"S Feigenson suggests that Yosef never fathomed that the brothers were wicked enough to actually sell him and have their father suffer in the aftermath.  He, thus, concluded that his father must have been behind the whole plan, thinking to punish him⁶⁰ for his haughty thoughts of kingship.⁶¹ 
• Rejected – R"A Korman suggests that Yosef and brothers did not know that they were all to be chosen.⁶² Yosef initially believed that he was the favorite, but upon being sold, he concluded that his dreams were simply an illusion, and in fact he was rejected, while his brothers were to carry on the line.

Why did Yosef not contact Yaakov immediately?

• According to R"S Feigenson, Yosef could not send to his father since he thought it was his father who was punishing him.⁶³  Once he achieved greatness, it was even more difficult since it would look as if he was trying to defy and mock his father by showing him that his dreams were actually realized.
• R"A Korman maintains that Yosef took Yaakov's silence in not sending for him as a sign that Hashem had not revealed the facts of the sale to Yaakov.  He thus concluded that it was Hashem's will that he be rejected.

"כִּי נַשַּׁנִי אֱלֹהִים אֶת כָּל עֲמָלִי וְאֵת כָּל בֵּית אָבִי" – R"Y Bin-Nun and R"A Korman suggest that in these words Yosef expressed that he had come to terms with his fate and was ready to leave the past behind him.  The name of his second son, Ephraim (כִּי הִפְרַנִי אֱלֹהִים), signified that he was looking to the future, ready perhaps to start anew and head a different line.

Remembering the dreams – R"Y Bin-Nun asserts that when the brothers bowed, Yosef remembered his dreams and was filled with renewed hope that perhaps he was not rejected after all.

Accusation of espionage and bringing of Binyamin

• R"S Feigenson maintains that Yosef took the brothers arrival as a sign that his father had finally forgiven him and planned to redeem him.  He accused them so that they would be forced to reveal during the interrogation that they had not really come to buy food but to free their brother.  When Yosef realized that this was not the case, he despaired of his father's forgiveness and hoped only to see Binyamin again.
• R"Y Bin-Nun agrees that Yosef wanted Binyamin, but for a different reason.  He hoped that through him he could find out the true reason for his rejection and know what the future had in store.

Framing of Binyamin – Apparently, Yosef's original plan was to keep Binyamin with him alone, either because the rest of the family had rejected him, or with hopes that Binyamin would reveal information that would allow him to later reconnect.

Yehuda's speech – According to this position it was not Yehuda's selfless concern for Binyamin and Yaakov, nor his changed ways that affected Yosef, but rather the information that he imparted.  When Yosef heard that his father had no knowledge of the sale, and that  he thought him dead, Yosef realized that he had been wrong and was not rejected.

Portrait of Yosef – This approach paints a good-intentioned, but unfortunate Yosef, whose mistaken beliefs prolong his misery and detachment from his family.

Yosef Motivated by Self-interest

Yosef acted in his own self-interest and not out of any concern for his brothers' welfare. This approach subdivides regarding Yosef's motives.

Preserving Egyptian Status

Yosef assimilated in Egypt, and his new exalted status made him wary of reconnecting with anyone in his family except for Binyamin.

Sources:Demetrius the Chronographerthe Chronographer, cited by Eusebius, "Praeparatio Evangelica" (ix. 17-39)About Demetrius, perhaps TanchumaVayeshev 8About the Tanchuma,⁶⁴ Y. EldadHegyonot Mikra, pp.62-65, R"D Henshke"Response", Megadim 2 (1987): 106-108

"כִּי נַשַּׁנִי אֱלֹהִים אֶת כָּל עֲמָלִי וְאֵת כָּל בֵּית אָבִי" – Yosef's naming of his firstborn expressed his deep desire to sever ties with the past.  He did not want any reminders of the cruel treatment of his brothers and was at peace with his life in Egypt.

Why did Yosef not contact Yaakov?

• Assimilated – After concluding that there was no chance of returning to Canaan, Yosef decided to move on with his life and assimilate into Egyptian society.⁶⁵  He no longer had a desire to return to his family, nor to their hatred of him.
• Feared a loss of power – See also Demetrius the Chronographerthe Chronographer, cited by Eusebius, "Praeparatio Evangelica" (ix. 17-39)About Demetrius, Akeidat Yitzchak29About R. Yitzchak Arama, and Hoil MosheBereshit 42:14About R. Moshe Yitzchak Ashkenazi who suggest that Yosef did not send to his father as he feared that doing so would endanger his standing in Egyptian society.  Since shepherds were abhorred by the Egyptians, Yosef was concerned that a connection to his family might cause his demotion.⁶⁶

"וַיִּתְנַכֵּר אֲלֵיהֶם" – R"D Henshke points out that upon seeing his brothers, Yosef's initial reaction is to hide his identity.  He has no desire to connect to them and return to the past.

Accusations of espionage – R"D Henshke posits that talking to the brothers led Yosef to long for Binyamin.  He thus set up his elaborate plan to get the brothers to bring Binyamin to him.

Favoring Binyamin – Yosef gave extra portions and gifts to Binyamin because it was solely with Binyamin that he was interested in reuniting.

Rebating the payments – This position might explain that, while Yosef had no desire to reunite with his brothers, he also did not want them to starve. Thus, he returned their monies to ensure that they would be able to buy additional food in the future.

Framing of Binyamin – Yosef's original plan was that the brothers would return to Canaan, while Binyamin stayed with him and built a home in Egypt.

Change of plan – "וְלֹא יָכֹל יוֹסֵף לְהִתְאַפֵּק" – After hearing of Yaakov's longing, Yosef does an about face and decides to re-embrace his family and heritage.

Portrait of Yosef – This position paints a picture of an assimilated Yosef who has no desire to be part of the Children of Israel.  The story is as much about his process of return as it is about the brothers' change of attitude.

Vengeance

Yosef desired to exact revenge for his brothers' mistreatment of him.

Sources:RadakBereshit 41:51Bereshit 42:9Bereshit 42:17Bereshit 42:27Bereshit 43:34Bereshit 44:1About R. David Kimchi

"כִּי נַשַּׁנִי אֱלֹהִים אֶת כָּל עֲמָלִי וְאֵת כָּל בֵּית אָבִי" – Radak interprets this as Yosef declaring that he no longer had any feelings for his family. This is consistent with his understanding that Yosef later tried to cause pain to his brothers.

Why did Yosef not contact Yaakov immediately? Radak does not address this question, but he might suggest that Yosef's anger at the brothers extended to his father.  After all, it was his father who had sent him to visit his brothers leading to the entire ordeal.

Remembering the dreams – When he saw the dreams begin to be realized, Yosef remembered how his brothers hated him for them.  Thinking of the pain he suffered, instilled in him a desire for vengeance.⁶⁷

Accusations, imprisonment and framing – All of these were aimed at causing the brothers suffering, and possibly to punish the brothers measure for measure.⁶⁸  Yosef imprisoned them in a jail-pit in return for their throwing him into the pit, accused them of lying as they had denied the veracity of his dreams, and tried to enslave them as they had sold him into slavery.

Returning of their payments – This was part of the mind games which Yosef was playing with his brothers in order to cause them suffering.

Dining with the brothers – One could suggest that Yosef's constant switching between positive and negative interactions was a psychological ploy to keep the brothers off balance and continuously anxious.

Favoring Binyamin – According to Radak, this was compensation for forcing him to leave his father and come down to Egypt.

Portrait of Yosef – Yosef is portrayed as a person with human frailties and a natural desire for revenge.

Chosen Line

Yosef believed that he and Binyamin were destined together to constitute the chosen nation and that through them the prophecy of "גֵר יִהְיֶה זַרְעֲךָ בְּאֶרֶץ לֹא לָהֶם " would be fulfilled.

Chosenness – Previous history taught Yosef that it was likely that the children of only one of the mothers would inherit the mantle of leadership and be chosen to continue the line. His father's favoring of him supported this notion, while the brothers' behavior proved to him that they were unworthy.  His lowly status in Egypt also did not deter him; it rather strengthened his beliefs as he knew that the nation was destined to sojourn and be enslaved in a foreign land.⁶⁹

Why did Yosef not contact Yaakov immediately – In his early years of servitude in Egypt, Yosef was simply not in a position to contact his father.  Afterwards, when he rose to power, the long silence from his father's end convinced him that his father must have already died.  Even after reconciling with his brothers, Yosef still doubted whether his father was alive, as can be seen by his first words after identifying himself: "הַעוֹד אָבִי חָי".

"כִּי נַשַּׁנִי אֱלֹהִים אֶת כָּל עֲמָלִי וְאֵת כָּל בֵּית אָבִי" – Menasheh's name reflects Yosef's belief that it was the rest of the family who were rejected.  The name of his second son, Ephraim, similarly expressed his belief that he was to carry the blessing of "seed" ("כִּי הִפְרַנִי אֱלֹהִים") and that he was chosen to fulfill the prophecy that the nation was to be oppressed in a foreign land ("בְּאֶרֶץ עׇנְיִי").

Remembering the dreams – Yosef's dreams led him to believe that he and Binyamin were the chosen heirs, while the rest of the brothers were to be subservient.  When he saw the brothers bow to him, this confirmed for him that his interpretation was correct.

Accusations and imprisonment – When the brothers descended to Egypt, Yosef saw an opportunity to bring Binyamin to him so that together they could build the nation of Israel.  The accusations and imprisonment were all a means to this end.

Favoring Binyamin – Yosef favored Binyamin since he believed him to be chosen along with himself.

Framing Binyamin – Since Yosef felt that Binyamin, too, was chosen, he wanted to keep only him in Egypt.  Yosef did not anticipate Yehuda's intervention, and had assumed that the brothers would abandon Binyamin and return to Canaan.

Returning of payments – Although Yosef believed that the brothers were rejected, he did not harbor ill will against them and wanted to ensure that they would have sufficient funds to feed themselves in the future.

Change of plan – "וְלֹא יָכֹל יוֹסֵף לְהִתְאַפֵּק" – These words prove that originally Yosef was not planning on revealing himself.  Only Yehuda's show of selflessness for a rival, favored son⁷⁰ and concern for his father, led Yosef to rethink his position and entertain the possibility that all the brothers together might constitute the chosen nation.

Portrait of Yosef – Yosef harbors no ill will, but also cares little for his larger family, preferring to pursue his ambitions to become the leader of the nation.

¹ Ramban only uses this approach to address the need for framing Binyamin.  He explains Yosef's other actions in light of his desire to actualize his dreams - see below.

² R. Yonah also raises the possibility that Yosef was partially motivated by a desire to fulfill the dreams or that all the events were orchestrated by Hashem in order to bring Yaakov down to Egypt in honor.

³ See below that Abarbanel also develops the idea that Yosef was motivated by a desire to facilitate the brothers' penance.

⁴ He also maintains, like Ramban, that Yosef was partially motivated by a desire to fulfill his dreams.

⁵ Or HaChayyim combines this with the approach below, that Yosef was trying to help the brothers gain penance.

⁶ Cf. R. Yonah, Akeidat Yitzchak, and Abarbanel, who suggest that Yosef was unsure if he himself was still in danger from his brothers' hatred. Before revealing himself, he wanted to ascertain their feelings. R. Yonah asserts that Yosef would then act in accord with his findings – either forgive his brothers or exact revenge.

⁷ Cf. R"Y HeChasid below.

⁸ Only after the famine arrived and Yosef's plan proved successful, would Yosef no longer need to worry about his status.

⁹ He does not elaborate regarding why that would be problematic, but might suggest, as does Abarbanel, that ties to Canaan would have cast doubts on his loyalty to Egypt.  Cf. Demetrius below.

¹⁰ He claims that this is expressed in Yosef's explanation of his son Efraim's name: "כִּי הִפְרַנִי אֱלֹהִים בְּאֶרֶץ עׇנְיִי"; the word "עׇנְיִי" hints to his "עוון".

¹¹ Abarbanel might be writing from his own life experiences . He, too, was busy dealing with the finances of government and might have at times felt he had not enough time for his family, but thought of them regardless.

¹² According to them this was one of the reasons that Yosef accused his brothers of spying; the accusation would enable him to easily probe his brothers about his father and Binyamin.  However, in contrast to Ramban and others who follow his lead [see below] they do not suggest that the rest of Yosef actions were aimed at actualizing the dreams.

¹³ IF so, one might question why this is important for the reader.  It is possible, that the text is simply making sure the reader, too, realizes that Yosef's dreams were not mere fantasies, but held in them future truths.

¹⁴ R. Shemuel b. Chofni points out that the demand to bring Binyamin obviously had nothing to do with the charge of spying since his presence constituted no proof of their innocence. As such, the whole charge must have been concocted only because Yosef could think of no other way to force the family to bring Binyamin.

¹⁵ According to Philo, since Binyamin was also a son of the beloved Rachel, Yosef was fearful that he too incited hatred and was despised by the brothers. He therefore wanted visual evidence that Binyamin was alive and well.

¹⁶ He assumes that he could not simply ask them personal questions upfront since such questions were normally only asked in connection to marriage negotiations. 

¹⁷ Since he maintains that Yosef harbored no anger at his brothers, he can claim that Yosef was merely looking out for their welfare.

¹⁸ One could disagree with Abarbanel and argue that Yosef actually needed to see how the brothers would act even if their sibling was guilty.  After all, from the brothers' perspective, Yosef himself had not been totally innocent when they mistreated him.

¹⁹ Ramban asserts that the openness was necessary for the success of the plan. Otherwise the brothers could claim that they assumed the goblet was given to them as a gift just as their money was returned to them and this was all an innocent mistake.

²⁰ The advantage of such an approach is that it allows for a more consistent understanding of the action throughout.  If one posits that this is part of the larger test, one would need to explain why there was a need to test the same thing twice, or posit that the same action was designed to test two different things.

²¹ The problematic slandering of Binyamin's characte might, in part, motivate Abarbanel to suggest that Yosef made certain that the brothers knew Binyamin was framed (see above).

²² He thus reads this verse as parallel to the brothers' reaction in Bereshit 42:21.  Cf. Seikhel Tov below.

²³ see above that Abarbanel also suggests that Yosef was testing his brothers.

²⁴ Or HaChayyim also brings the approach above that Yosef was testing teh brothers.  According to him the two approaches work together; Yosef tested them as part of the process of their repentance.

²⁵ See Ma'asei Hashem and the Keli Yekar.

²⁶ It seems unfair to claim that the brothers' "suspicions" were sinful, considering that the text testifies to the fact that Yosef did in fact slander the brothers to his father: "וַיָּבֵא יוֹסֵף אֶת דִּבָּתָם רָעָה אֶל אֲבִיהֶם". According to Abarbanel the verse does not refer to Yosef spreading lies or even sharing evil actions that he saw the brothers commit but rather that Yosef told his father what others were saying about the brothers so that his father could rebuke or correct them.  According to the Keli Yekar, Yosef was punishing the brothers for their later suspicions, when they assumed that Yosef was checking up on them in Dotan in order to give their father a negative report.  These thoughts, though, are not evident in the text.

²⁷ Prisons in Tanakh are often described as a "בור".  See, for example, Yosef's words, "וְגַם פֹּה לֹא עָשִׂיתִי מְאוּמָה כִּי שָׂמוּ אֹתִי בַּבּוֹר. "

²⁸ This would only explain the second reimbursement.

²⁹ See how Yosef describes his sale to the butler: "כִּי גֻנֹּב גֻּנַּבְתִּי מֵאֶרֶץ הָעִבְרִים".

³⁰ Ramban made significant changes to his commentary on this passage after arriving in Israel – see Ramban's Updates and particularly Ramban's update to Bereshit 42:9.  It is possible that in Israel he was influenced by the question posed by R"Y Bekhor Shor (Bereshit 37:26) of why Yosef did not contact his father, and this caused him to rework his interpretation. In both the original interpretation and the update, Ramban focuses mainly on the idea that Yosef was trying to fulfill his dreams but develops the idea differently.

³¹ Seforno only uses this approach to explain the events of chapter 42 (the brothers' first visit).   He explains Yosef's later actions as a test of the brothers.

³² According to R. Alshikh, only Yosef's decision not to send word to his father was motivated by the prophecy.  His interaction with the brothers, in contrast, was aimed at punishing the brothers so that they could atone for their crimes.

³³ R. Avraham b. HaRambam asserts that even Yaakov's nonchalant sending of Yosef to check on his brothers (without heeding the warning signs) was driven by Hashem in order to start the entire process.  Reuven's silence, too, was part of the fulfillment of Hashem's decree.

³⁴ Cf. TanchumaMiketz 4About the Tanchuma which uses this idea to explain why Hashem did not reveal Yosef's whereabouts to Yaakov, but does not discuss Yosef's actions.

³⁵ See the Gr"A.  Netziv similarly writes, "ומוטל הי' עליו שלא לגרום ביטולם ולא יהא ככובש את נבואתו ". 

³⁶ R"Y Arama writes, "העושה יגש פתרונם"‎ and Abarbanel echoes: "קיום החלומות היה מוטל על הקדוש ברוך הוא לא על יוסף החולם."

³⁷ Cf. R. Alshikh who posits that Yosef realized that he was a vehicle through which Hashem's Providence was to descend to Egypt for the exile.  He felt that if he contacted his father, he would bring him back to Canaan, which was not in accord with Hashem's plan.

³⁸ Ramban only addresses this question after arriving in Israel and updating commentary, .  It is possible that until then he had not realized how close Israel and Egypt were (a "six day journey"), and was thus less bothered by the issue.  In addition, it is only in Israel that Ramban accessed the works of Tosafists such as R"Y Bekhor Shor who highlight this question in their commentaries.

³⁹ Ibn Kaspi wrote his commentary after traveling and living in Egypt and points out that he knows this is true from his knowledge of the customs of Egypt (ואין ספק ליודעי מנהג מצרים כמוני...).  It is only in the introduction (written after the commentary itself) that he addresses this particular question.  It is possible that it was only then that he traveled significantly in Egypt and saw its proximity to Egypt.  Alternatively in between writing the commentary and the introduction he came into contact with the commentaries of Ramban or R. Avraham b. HaRambam who address the issue.  [See above note regarding similar updates in Ramban's commentary.]

⁴⁰ He figured that it was better that his father think him dead, and be able to move on, then to be continuously pained by the knowledge that he was a slave in Egypt with no hope of salvation.

⁴¹ In rejecting other approaches, Ibn Kaspi points out that the verse does not state that "Yosef remembered the evils done to him" and thus it is clear that he was not motivated by revenge or the like.

⁴² This is how Ramban explains the events in his updated commentary.  In the original version of his commentary, he posits that the brothers' initial bowing constituted a fulfillment of the first dream (in which Binyamin was not meant to be included) and the subsequent actions were meant to actualize the second dream, in which his father and Binyamin would also bow. [This is also how later commentators, Minchah Belulah, GR"A, and Netziv read the story.]
It is possible that Ramban rejected this read because it does not explain why Yosef could not have simply revealed his identity to the brothers on the initial visit and have them immediately send for Binyamin and Yaakov, without need for all the subterfuge.  Only if one posits that Yosef had not yet seen the fulfillment of the dream, and saw a need to fulfill each in its proper order, was the plot necessary.

⁴³ He, like Ramban in his original commentary, maintains that the first dream was already fulfilled in Chapter 42. 

⁴⁴ See the brothers' reaction to the first dream: הֲמָלֹךְ תִּמְלֹךְ עָלֵינוּ אִם מָשׁוֹל תִּמְשֹׁל בָּנוּ

⁴⁵ He points to Yosef's ordering the family according to their ages as another aspect of this "lesson".

⁴⁶ Yosef feared that if they harbored hatred against Binyamin, he might not be safe en route home without their father to watch over him.

⁴⁷ R. Yehuda HeChasid's position has been preserved in several different sources, not all of which totally agree with each other.  In most of the sources, though, he speaks of either a ban or an oath which was taken by Yosef.

⁴⁸ This position assumes that the brothers were familiar with later laws of bans which require a quorum of ten to take effect.  For elaboration on the forefather's observance of future commandments see Avot and Mitzvot – Was Avraham the First Jew?.

⁴⁹ This obviates the problem of Yosef being bound by an oath to which he did not agree. It is not a halakhic necessity that prompts Yosef to keep quiet but a rational desire to survive.

⁵⁰ According to the Sefer Hasidim and Daat Zekenim, Hashem served as the missing tenth "man".  Cf. earlier Midrashic sources such as TanchumaVayeshev 2About the Tanchuma and Pirkei DeRabbi Eliezer38About Pirkei DeRabbi Eliezer who assert the same, but do not mention the decree on Yosef.  It is not clear whether the main goal of including Hashem was simply to reach a quorum or to preclude Hashem Himself from revealing the secret to Yaakov.  Pirkei deRabbie Eliezer implies the former while the singular form "שֶׁלֹּא יַגִּיד לַאֲבִיהֶם" in Tanchuma implies the latter. [See, though the Mishpat HaCherem of Ramban which quotes the Tanchuma as "שֶׁלֹּא יגידו לַאֲבִיהֶם".]
Either way, the approach raises the question of why Hashem would agree to join such a ban, and if Hashem can somehow be "forced" by men into (in)action.  [See Tanchuma's formualtion, "וזה 'מקים דבר עבדו' שהקב"ה מקיים גזרת עבדיו".]  Sefer Chasidim suggests that Hashem only agreed because he thought that Yosef deserved a punishment for his haughtiness and assumptions that others would serve him.  Cf. R. Yosef KolonResponsa of R. Yosef Kolon 37 who instead posits that Hashem agreed  as a punishment to Yaakov; Yaakov needed to long for his son so as to atone for the years that he had not honored his own father, Yitzchak.

⁵¹ From a modern perspective, it is hard to imagine why Yosef would not simply reject the oath and look after himself.  However, the commentators who take this approach lived in a society which viewed breaking vows as a very serious offense (as the Torah itself implies).

⁵²  R"Y Bekhor Shor is the first medieval commentator to grapple with this question.  In earlier sources (TanchumaVayeshev 2About the Tanchuma and Pirkei DeRabbi Eliezer38About Pirkei DeRabbi Eliezer) where the motif of the ban/oath appears, it comes not to explain Yosef inaction, but rather why Hashem did not reveal anything to Ya'akov.  In these versions, there is no mention of Yosef being included in the ban/oath; it is Hashem who is the extra "man" bound to silence.

⁵³ According to Sefer Chasidim, this last condition was meant to ensure that even if Yosef's dreams came true and he became a ruler, he would at least not rule over the brothers.  It never occurred to them that they might be forced to go to Egypt.

⁵⁴ See below that it was only because "he could no longer contain himself" that he revealed his identity earlier.

⁵⁵ R"Y Bekhor Shor similarly explains that Yosef told the brothers to "come near" so that he could speak to them privately and ensure that no one else heard.  He also raises the possibility that Yosef feared that if anyone else heard the brothers would have been embarrassed into denying knowledge of him.

⁵⁶ According to him, Yosef had believed that he was not allowed to say anything, even just to himself.  As proof of teh change in plan, he points to the fact that the text shares , "וְלֹא יָכֹל יוֹסֵף לְהִתְאַפֵּק".  It was only because he could no longer contain himself that Yosef revealed his identity at this point.

⁵⁷ For more about this reading of Yehuda's speech, see Yehuda's Oration

⁵⁸ Cf. Daat Zekenim that the brothers collectively nullified the oath and ban.

⁵⁹ See his article, "הפילוג והאחדות: כפל הטעות המרה והלם הגילוי: מדוע לא שלח יוסף אל אביו" in Megadim 1 (1986): 20-31.

⁶⁰ Cf. R. YonahDerashot R. Yonah Parashat Vayigash who also maintains that Yosef thought he was being punished and  Sefer Chasidim Sefer Chasidim 1961About R. Yehuda HeChasidwhich suggests that Hashem agreed to be part of the brothers' ban of silence so that Yosef could attain penance for these sins.

⁶¹ He thought that this was a measure for measure punishment; Yosef had plans of grandeur and rulership so he was sold into slavery and submission.  Y. Bin-Nun explains similarly but suggests that Yosef thought that the brothers had convinced their father that it had to be either he or they, and like Yishmael and Esav before him, sometimes even a beloved son is sent away.  It was easy to convince himself that Yaakov played a role, for after all it was Yaakov who sent him visit his brothers.

⁶² Until then, in every generation one son was picked to carry the mantle of leadership while the rest were rejected and sent to live elsewhere.

⁶³ Y. Bin-Nun asserts that Yosef spent the initial years in servitude hoping that his father would come to redeem him. It was his father's silence that convinced him of his rejection and caused him to lose all hope

⁶⁴ Tha Tanchuma does not explicitly state that Yosef assimilated but presents him as enjoying himself in Egypt and being happy to forget his father's house.  It does not discuss at all Yosef's later interactions with the brothers.

⁶⁵ See also TanchumaVayeshev 8About the Tanchuma who presents Yosef as curling his hair and dining in Potiphar's house, happy not to think of his father's house.

⁶⁶ In contrast to this approach, though, Hoil Moshe asserts that Yosef had his family's interests in mind.  He feared that f he lost his power there would be none to feed the family during the years of famine.

⁶⁷ R. Yosef ibn Kaspi completely rejects this possibility, assuming that the righteous Yosef would never have vindictive motives. he asserts that he verse states that Yosef remembered his dreams, not that he remembered the evil done to him by his brothers. For more on Ibn Kaspi's personal identification with his namesake, see R. Yosef ibn Kaspi.

⁶⁸ Cf. Abarbanel above.

⁶⁹ Cf. R"A Korman above who understands that Yosef read the sale as proof of his rejection.

⁷⁰ From Yehuda's perspective if Binyamin was out of the picture, he himself was the next contender for the chosen position.