Tamar's Plea – כִּי לֹא יִמְנָעֵנִי מִמֶּךָּ/2
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Tamar's Plea
Exegetical Approaches
Truth
Tamar was speaking the truth as there was no legal impediment to her marrying Amnon. This position subdivides regarding the nature of Amnon and Tamar's family ties and why they were permitted to marry:
Not Legally Siblings
Amnon and Tamar were not legally siblings.
Relationship to Avshalom – Avshalom and Tamar were full siblings, sharing both a mother (Ma'akhah) and father (David). This is why she is first introduced in relationship to him rather than Amnon (לְאַבְשָׁלוֹם בֶּן דָּוִד אָחוֹת יָפָה וּשְׁמָהּ תָּמָר), and why Amnon similarly tells Yonadav, "תָּמָר אֲחוֹת אַבְשָׁלֹם אָחִי אֲנִי אֹהֵב".
Ma'akhah – According to all these sources, Ma'akhah was a beautiful captive woman1 who bore Tamar from relations with David prior to her conversion.2 As such, legally Tamar was not considered a daughter of David but rather to that of a Gentile maidservant.3
Relationship to Amnon – Though David fathered both Amnon and Tamar, since Tamar was conceived before Ma'akhah converted, she was Amnon's biological, but not halakhic, half-sister and not prohibited to him.4
"תָּמָר אֲחֹתִי" – Tamar is referred to as Amnon's sister throughout the story, because, despite her legal status, she was nonetheless David's daughter.
Yonadav's intentions – Malbim claims that Yonadav, knowing that Amnon could legitimately marry Tamar, had never intended that he take her by force. He suggested that Amnon fake illness and talk to his father as a way of alerting David to Amnon's desire for Tamar, assuming that David would then suggest that they marry. It would seem, however, that a simpler plan would have been for Amnon to simply ask forthrightly to wed Tamar.5
Tamar's goal – Tamar's goal in all her pleas was that Amnon not treat her as a prostitute but rather legitimately wed her. Ralbag points out that Tamar never uses the argument that the act would be transgressing the prohibition of גילוי עריות, only "that this is not done in Israel".
Why didn't Amnon agree? Since Amnon was overcome by physical desire, he had no interest and no self control to wait to approach David.
Amnon's hatred – Malbim suggests that Amnon had never loved Tamar, just lusted after her. Thus as soon as his desire was satiated, he recognized that he had done an abominable act but instead of hating himself or the act itself, he projected that hatred onto Tamar.
No Blood Relationship
Relationship to Avshalom – Tamar was born from the same mother as Avshalom (Ma'akhah), but a different father, making them half-siblings.6
Relationship to Amnon – Tamar and Amnon were not related at all, sharing neither a father nor a mother. As such, they were totally permitted to each other.
"תָּמָר אֲחֹתִי" – Even though there were no blood ties between Amnon and Tamar, since Tamar grew up in the palace with all the other children of David, she was treated and referred to as a sister.
"וַיִּפָּלֵא בְּעֵינֵי אַמְנוֹן לַעֲשׂוֹת לָהּ מְאוּמָה" – Abarbanel questions that if Tamar was permitted to Amnon why could he not think on his own to ask to wed her? Why was he at a loss as to how to touch her? The Rid suggests that Amnon was never interested in marriage, only in sleeping with Tamar. He could not figure out what to do, since as a virgin, she was very modest and rarely went out alone.
Ruse
Tamar knew that David would never approve of the marriage, but was grasping at straws hoping that her words would convince Amnon to release her.
Sources:R. Yosef ibn Kaspi #2, Abarbanel
Mistake
Tamar was unaware of the law, and truly believed that David would allow the marriage.
